JWD: Thor the Conqueror (1983)

Must be the stupidest movie i’v ever seen…

You know what, im just so drunk right now, you know. And Thor right, he’s pierced with an arrow when he’s born and that’s badass right… NO!! That’s stupid! While his mentor is a wanna-be owl with a broken surfboard as sholder-pillows under a pile of worn and torn rags_ while trying to function as wiseman towards Thor and a storyteller towards the viewer, trying to be deep as fuck and shit_but he dosnt fool anybody-this movie dosnt’ fool anybody! Think i’ll have some Coke now, im out of beers. As you probably understand; this movie has alot of junk-factor and dumbster-value, it’s very Italian-very womanzing (like it should be; the law of nature, we are in a primitive age here, before any horses and feminism was invented and hardly any speech eithter…except for that Owl-Mentor) It’s pretty much the most awkward movie that i’v ever seen and the main-dude; that is ‘Thor’, i didnt’ feel any emotions or relations to him at all-he’s as wooden as wooden chould possible be and just really out of place…a dreadfull main-charater to follow in a movie. ‘Thor The Conquer’ is awkward and involuntarily comical from start till’ end, but the sequence that really made my jaw drop, was when Thor is battling a clan of amazonian-ish female warriors…uh, three of them, who’s wearing fucking strawbuckets as war-helmets. Anything positive to say while closing of though? Some of the combat scenes looks actually pretty good and was thrilling to watch and there are also some very hot girls with very little clothes on. Watched it on a dvd, distributed by our God-like Full Moon Features!

beerglas-rating-2