JWD: Witchery (1988)

I started early on; playing with my chubby. I didnt’ masturbate, just playing with it, you know. You know; when a movie really bores you and you get a chubby an just have to toss it around from side to side.

80’s-icons David Hasselhoff and Linda Blair starres in this Italian ghost-house movie. I like The Hoff; he was one of my heros in the early/mid 90’s, watching baywatch, a kinda father-figure you know. Then when i became a teenager; he was suddenly the cheesiest man to ever have walk the face of the earth. But lately, after i pushed my thirties, i’v started liking him again-seems like a really awesome gye and i even listen to his albums on spotify…occasionlly. Linda Blair; well. Thats a dame who always makes me horny. In this flick she wears alot of clothes, but she still has her sexy voice and that look in her eyes. Well, anyway; The Hoff travles to this huge ghosthouse on this tiny windy island with his girfriend (not Linda), staying there-while his fucking annoying virgian tightass girlfriends-who always mumbles between her lips with a frown on her face denying him sex-and she’s fucking 26 or something. They are reading some pharanormal book, while looking for the ghost of some German witch. They stay out there with out permission and soon they have company with some alternative buyers of the old house and all hell breakes loose. Spoiler alert; The Hoff”s tightass 26 year old virgien-girfriend is so annoying that i just had to smile when she was finaly raped by some poltergeist and she’s scared shitless…of some fucking ghost-dick. The flick has a nice atmospheric synt-soundtrack, nice locations and pretty ok handling of the lights and camera. But hey; the story, plot, actors and my god… David Hasselhoff And Linda Blair, especailly The Hoff, are good actors and delivers good, but they seem really out of place, like they dont belong in this shit. And last but not least; the little kid, cute kid though; a boy at the age of five or six, but it sounds like they have used a kid at the age of three…with a German accent on the over-dubbing. Been having my last beers now and listening to the horror-core group; ‘Isolated Beingz’, while writing this ‘review’. Check em’ out! But this movie..

beerglas-rating-2-5